One ‘a them days!

I’m having one of those days today. I was going to write a review on here. Couldn’t be bothered. I was going to contribute to Listography. Couldn’t be bothered either. There are also various emails I need to send, housework to be done, plants to be planted, weeds to be weeded. Poof! Not gonna do it.

I guess I’m just feeling a bit sorry for myself as people often do, but in me it manifests itself in laziness. If I could crawl under the duvet and stay there I cheerfully would, but you can’t when you’re the mummy can you? I sometimes did that when we had no kids – on the very odd occasion (gasp) I even called in sick to work for no other reason than feeling like I just couldn’t be fagged to get out of bed – that’s a terrible thing to admit isn’t it? But now, that’s all over and even if I’m bleeding out my eyes, I still have to get up and look after small people.

I don’t know why I bring this up today. I don’t know why I bring this up at all as I don’t usually tell people when I’m feeling down, as I genuinely think why the hell would they care, but I feel the need to write something down just to stop this ole’ blog being a collection of poorly written reviews and memes. It’s supposed to be about me, so why the hell not?

I’m having one of those periods in which I feel like I should be doing more, being more and creating something. I joined the BaM programme, but can’t find the oomph to make a go of any kind of ideas. I think that’s getting me down too – I’m trying to sort out some freelance work, but am being unsuccessful. Is this because I don’t have the skills, or – I don’t know, perhaps I’m not pushing it hard enough. Perhaps I’m just not good enough.

That’s the crux of my bad mood I suppose – perhaps I’m just not good enough. At anything. That’s what I feel like most of the time, that’s what I think people think about me so maybe it’s true.

I’m not expecting answers. I don’t know what I want – maybe that’s a problem too. All I know now is I’d better press publish before I delete this whole thing.

I still might.

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4 Responses to One ‘a them days!

  1. All I can say is I know exactly how you feel because I’m there too, and not having kids means I’m currently in my PJs under the duvet. Just wondering if you’ve had a thyroid blood test recently (low levels might be a contributor).
    Hugs and wishing for June to be much better than May seems to have been.

  2. Jay says:

    People don’t think you’re not good enough. Please watch in full, and promptly make this your anthem, as the chorus….*that’s* how we think of you. *Hugs*

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62huWmKEu18
    (Swear word warning)

  3. Perfect song Jay (no wonder you were so happy when that question came up tonight).
    Like Jay said ‘people’ don’t think of you that way, at least those who should matter to you don’t. You’ll find your niche, when it’s right for you to do so.

  4. Cath says:

    Being a permanent mum is a hard job, much harder than people who aren’t a permanent mum realise. And that includes me- at least I get some time out. Everyone is allowed to have a crap day & feel down from time to time, if we didn’t we wouldn’t be sane. So don’t feel bad about wanting a duvet day. And no more crap about not being good enough, it’s bollocks. You’re awesome, you’d have to be to be my friend for so long 😉
    Hope you’re feeling better by now, am sending you big big BIG hugs. Xxx

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